Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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