he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
