Why does Corona taste like a burp?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
