Pants 0. Shit 1.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
