even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
