She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
