Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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