Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
