it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
