Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
