Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
