It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
