You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
