When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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