Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
