The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
there is puke in my bra ... again
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
