yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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