Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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