Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
