I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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