yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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