I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
