You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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