i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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