I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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