id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
