Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
