He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Pants are for mortals
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
