Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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