it was like eating out sand paper
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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