she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
