Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dicks are not precious.
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