census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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