what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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