Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
