I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize