exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
