Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So drunk its hurt
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
