I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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