i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
