that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
