is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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