If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
