I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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