Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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