dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
