oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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