How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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