my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
