I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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