you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
