apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
