So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
