no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
