is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
