it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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