how do flat chested girls get laid?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
