he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
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You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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