she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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