im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
