I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
